The Road To Higher Education

The 2012-2013 school year is coming to a close. I feel that whenever I write on this blog, I hit some life-altering obstacles that leave me both hurt and excited to the revelations I’ve experienced.

When I last left off, I had taken a semester off from school to ground myself in reality, group my resources, and balance my mind. I’d say the effects of this effort have renewed my perceptions forward with my climb to my degree. Here is my story up to now:

The Fall of ‘Safety’

My new job had taken a great turn. I was traveling the United States, working with a creative videography team, and learning efficient workflows for my personal benefit. In my spare time, I was keeping up with friends and living the life I wanted to live. Except that all took a terrible turn for the worst in the eve of talks about “Sequestration”. I had already seen it coming months before, and had been prepared to transition back to school for my degree. Working on my paperwork, I exercised the thoughts of how I’d plot going from working full-time to being a full-time student.

When you know you’re about to lose your job, going to school is the least of your worries. There are bills to pay, rent to be made, and families to take care of. If I were in school, while at the same time working over 20 hours a week to pay bills AND take care of a family, I would just not make it. To continue would mean something would have to be cut out, or I would have to invest in taking a loan out, so I believe the obvious option for many people would be to drop out of school. In my case, I have no family to support aside from my immediate family of parents and siblings. But a proud man does not admit his defeat after winning on the battlefield, at least I didn’t. I never told my family about how there was no more money coming in on my end, or the cost of repairs onto my car for a recent accident, or how I was struggling with food because rent still needed to be paid until my lease was up. I could have done so many things to ease my worries, but I held on to the hope that I’d be self-sufficient until the time came to be safe again.

Concentrate and Study Again.

It was to my luck that my registration process for my degree went through. After I moved out of my home and back with my parents, I had just enough money left to pay bills for the month, and credibility to my record to be accepted for a loan to pay for classes. Signing the paperwork for those loans was like giving my confidence to an imaginary bully to take care of while I sailed a sea of stress on the USS Sallie Mae. But I had come back to the university with my plan: finish in two years, get Liz back, sort life out, minus the Liz part. It’s like the path to getting an education in my situation is a constant game of shaking a Magic 8-Ball, “Outlook good. Outlook not so good. Signs point to Yes. Have a drink and buck up.”

It seemed that getting back into the groove of academics on a graduate level were just as hard as picking up skateboarding after not skateboard since I was a child, “The heck am I doing and am I pushing off right?”

The first issue I found when taking off was whether I had a cohort or support group to get me back on track, to which an immediate answer would be “Very doubtful”. If there was, and I had missed it, it’s probably because of the following: I did not expect there to be anyone to care about me, and any effort expended on searching for a cohort group meant less time finding ways to pay for bills and studying.

To my luck, I had been accepted as the Graduate Assistant at University Career Services, and gained valuable knowledge on career counseling, outreach programming, and office etiquette. Believe me when I say on the latter that my last office was not as positive as the staff here. I finally felt like a valuable resource again, was paying for my bills and keeping on track with classes.

I would say that the transition from full-time worker, to bum, to student would have been smoother, but it definitely helped that I had the support of an on-campus team, an academic advisor that picked up easily where I last left off, and peers who somewhat knew what I was going through.

Finishing the Race

It’s very fitting that I’m ending the year again with a bang. My thesis is gaining a full picture in my head, I am in the right direction with my life, and things are just feeling generally good. I’ve especially learned something valuable while in my internship for the practicum course of my program: the pursuit of accomplishments is a road paved by good people, especially at George Mason University. What can I say that has not already been said by the graduates and alumni of this university, or the students who would one day walk the same path I have? Being a first-generation student means fighting a struggle, specifically one that involves the obstacle of financial stability. Many students are not as blessed as I have been to get a bachelor’s degree, and in one more year (fingers crossed), get a Master’s degree. But for those students that actually get that opportunity, it is not to be wasted.

I hate it when someone says “Thanks for nothing [university or college], but my degree is useless now”, because that is not true. What I’ve learned is that students, from the moment they enter college, should be adding badges of accomplishments to their person constantly. George Mason University is a campus of opportunity, innovation, and entrepreneurial exploration, and students should not feel that their time here is wasted. From the moment a student adds a peer to their network, or adds a volunteering or professional bullet point of experience to their resume, they are adding a step to the road of accomplishments. One should simply focus their life on the social aspects of the campus environment, but the professional bonuses that come with it. Sure, we can grab a drink at the local bar, but let’s talk about this latest project I’m working on and how you can provide input. Why not, I’ll come to your campus event and entertain the idea of a workshop, but let’s also discuss how it can fit into my future.

So as students begin their victory lap to graduation, and I’m seeing the ending in sight for myself, I will constantly believe that accomplishments, and the obstacles that precede them, are only shaped by the pursuit to better ones self. I look forward to day I can walk across the stage for my Master’s degree, turn around, and hand off the baton to the next generation of students.

This is the first time I’ve taken a semester off from the pursuit of my Master’s degree. It’s a new feeling.

The feeling is that I haven’t actually had a “semester” off, ever. Ever since I attended elementary school to last semester, it has been Fall Semester, Spring Semester, Fall Semester, Spring Semester, Fall Semester… And now nothing. I’ve attained my Bachelor’s. I’m (estimated) 2 semesters from my Master’s. And now complications hit:

I have a new job. Well, I’ve had it since November 1st, but it still feels new to me that for once I am not earning a buck under the roof of an academic building, or on a campus (since my days working in a movie theater *shudder*). I now work for a Navy contractor doing what I’ve learned since my later years in high school to my last days as a videographer at Mason: Content. Content. Content.

And I am content (hahaha).

The job, in a surprise way, is a blessing. After I was unable to return for another year as a Graduate Assistant at my previous job on-campus (which I was told I’d still have, hence moving out of my parents), I relied on the goodness of a dear friend to get me a teaching job at Mason. This helped pay the rent, and it made me feel better that I was once again on my own. Independence. I was studying a career track I felt comfortable in and was giving back my knowledge as a Video instructor at my alma mater. But the job did not pay enough. The bills were racking up and I was burning through the money saved from my previous job. I was on the fence about asking my parents for money, because it was something I never wanted to do again (long story, maybe for another time). So while teaching and taking my Master’s classes part-time, I looked for jobs. Application after application was sent out, until I remembered an alumni of my fraternity had a job search connection, which I then took advantage of. A few e-mails about a job posting later and I found the perfect fit.

The perfect fit was a job that also felt like a long shot. My connection told me that there were already people lined up for the job and that my chances were slim. I submitted my application anyway, pulling references of my work and getting together a shoddy portfolio of what I thought was my best material. I had no idea what else these people looked for, but each line of their posting triggered a memory from years past.

“I know this”, I kept telling myself. “I got this.”

And a few days later, a response. They loved my work and wanted to set up an interview quickly. It was like my heart was about to fist-pump it’s way out of my chest while falling down some stairs into my stomach. With the money I had left, I bought myself a new blazer (the old one being too small for me… because of my diet at that point). I didn’t even have that much money left to my name that wasn’t budgeted to pay for bills. I would figure it had been less than $50 by the time of my interview. But I passed the interview, especially after they pulled in two other people along with the boss. And every question I knocked out of the ballpark, pertaining to editing, lighting, script writing, production set-ups, AP style writing, and odd questions to throw me off, but I made it.

The job provided me with much more money than I had made in my previous jobs. I gained medical insurance, a 401K plan, and a security clearance. I had regained confidence in myself and felt invincible… Until I reached the tipping point of that invincibility. Mistakes later, I entered 2012 with a renewed sense of being.

In early January, 2012, I decided a few things:

• Surround myself with people who support me.
• Disconnect myself from Facebook and other distractions.
• Lead a healthier lifestyle.
• Balance my life out and continue stress-free.

First of all, I began spending more time with my family. They were all I had and the only people who wanted the best for me. And I started talking to people who shared the same goals as me, leading me to join a local gym as well as try new food.

I disconnected myself from Facebook, which wasn’t actually all that hard to do after the first few days. I began to realize that not only did no one communicate outside of it, but I had no other way of reaching people aside from Twitter. Facebook was a facade, 700+ friends, out of which maybe less than 30 people actually would say something to me. It was that “Did you see my message on Facebook” conversation that started to get to me and the time I’d spend at nights posting things for some sort of validation. I was literally giving my time to something that wouldn’t affect me positively, waiting for someone to press ‘Like’ or someone to comment on whatever I had posted. I was a loser, and I didn’t care. So I got rid of it, and that’s when I realized how only the people who texted me really cared about what I’d be doing later. It also meant another thing: Because I had been so connected, and everything about events and social interactions were interfaced through Facebook, I started losing touch with a lot of people and the lifestyle that it’s connection had inscribed into me. But I only realized this after over a month away, only to return to Facebook being flooded with “memes” and garbage.

In 2012, I also decided to lead a healthier lifestyle. By the time of my job interview, I was about 200lbs, mainly in mass and ass. As of now, I’m 180-185. I completely changed my diet, increasing my metabolism and protein intake, while decreasing carbs (not cutting it out) and drinking more water. Juice, soda, and alcohol were my strict enemies, but especially soda, which had NO nutritional value and I was starting to believe this whole “caffeine” thing was a lie.

So I am trying to do this semester stress-free. Taking a hiatus from school benefits me because with all these changes, my body couldn’t possibly adapt unless I eased into it the course of a few months. I’m slowly letting Facebook (and the dozens of people I cut out) back into my life, but Facebook is the “soda” of the internet, which eventually I’ll just start texting and calling people more often when I get off my butt about finding their numbers (did I mention that after my job interview, my phone reset and I lost everyone’s numbers).

If you’ve read this far, I’d like to congratulate you on catching up to speed on the abridged version of my life up to this point. This blog was supposed to be mainly aimed at understanding my reach into higher education, and while my passion still lies in that field, I felt writing something about my life while still pursuing the degree held some merit.

Very respectfully,
George

The second semester of pursuing my Master’s degree started a few weeks back, and I am just looking forward to understanding more about others. I’ve done quite a bit to get to this point, and had an uneasy time getting through my first semester while not completely losing my mind. Personally, I don’t feel confident with the cards I’ve been given to really have any momentum with my work.

Each time I meet someone new, or listen to stories about how people dealt with certain situations, I reflect on what my past actions were in similar situations. I focus on what I’ve done wrong, and how to avoid it, because if I focused on the actions that were right, I only get too comfortable letting the wrong in. Either way, I am completely second guessing myself and it’s a very unhealthy habit.

I think it’s because I lack the confidence to do anything right and only stay on the safe side, but I second guess myself again on that. I am doing research on a subgroup of a student population that hits home for me. The last time I focused on a subject that was close to home (first semester), I almost botched my chances at passing a class. But here I am, fully knowing what I’ve gotten myself into: a situation where I might not get the conclusion I want.

Though, I won’t be worried about it. As always, I seem to feel better after taking time to reflect. Everything becomes a past action, but each situation that follows allows for a more informed decision.

So I was finally able to sit down and talk to Doug, where we talked mainly about Transfer Orientation and the effect it has on incoming students. I learned as much as I felt I could use before re-doing my learning outcomes for this part.

Now something interesting happened on the way to my Film Ethics class on Tuesday. It was a complete surprise to me, but everyone voiced their opinions and concerns about the Film And Video Studies (FAVS) program, and their wishes for something more unified. Immediately I thought of Mason Cable Network, which not only lacked programs, but interested and creative people.
But the person who sat near me, a past ‘President’ of MCN, said a few remarks in a way where they wanted people to join, but made it sound like everyone in the room missed their ship. My only damage control was to space myself in terms of not coming off as they did, due to association.
… Because my name was definitely mentioned.

This whole thing started turning wheels in my head and lightbulbs on. This University’s FAVS program may be small, with limited resources and red tape procedures, but things can be done. Like an alumni of my fraternity once said, “You can teach and study, you can change the way a man presents himself, but damn it, you can’t teach dedication!”
And everything I saw in that room was pure dedication to change this program, no matter how small or insignificant it was compared to other programs.

And I’m finally posting again on my blog. How great, since alot has happened these past few weeks!

Greek Life Reflection

My time with Greek Life was a most interesting time. For one, I met plenty of new people, and went through Sorority Recruitment while under different aspects that allowed me to get the most out of my experience. I learned how stressful yet organized the whole process could be. Everything done by Chris Jefferson (Assistant Director of Fraternity and Sorority Life) was moderated through an advisory role, which is hard when you see how tough the job is. When you have a team of people who have been working together for quite some time, especially an advisor and their students, they become a more fluid organization. My learning outcomes, a result of learning how Students, Organizers, and Advisors operate in this atmosphere, were met according to what was agreed between me and Chris. I became more aware of the recruitment process for Sorority Recruitment, and felt I knew what behaviors were most constructive while going through this process.

University Life Meeting

I had the good luck to sit in on the University Life meeting that held all the administrators involved in making Mason run. The meeting was generally going at a good roundtable pace, and I was impressed at how organized and supportive each department was with each other. Being introduced to the whole room felt like I was a new staff member, because the welcome was very genuine, but maybe it also could have been because I knew a few of the people in that room already.

And so ends my NACA South experience in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

From what I felt, this was an absolutely wonderful and intense experience. Through the perspective of the student and volunteer, one might say this year was a boggle of information and ushering.

For the first time student, being at NACA must be an overwhelming time, due to meeting talent, agents, and grabbing plenty of promotional items. I remember being in their shoes, having to be on my feet all day, taking tedious notes while comparing them to the open dates at my campus. It’s a lot of pressure when you’re the one who has to decide which act to book (and who the college audience would be more receptive to).

The volunteers, on the other hand, don’t have as bad a job as others. Their jobs are necessary and someone has to do it, and there’s no reason they shouldn’t feel like it’s a waste of time. When I volunteered, I noticed there should have been someone else there with me, though I find out later they neglected to come down and help check badges. While it was a dumb job, it ensured that people who were SUPPOSED to be there were in attendance.

Being that this year was my second NACA South, I noticed much more. First of all, every agent was apprehensive about who they talked to. But every talent approached students. Those without agents present had trouble approaching students, or were nervous about how they appeared.
The simple truth was that the talent with agents had to show they were legitimately selling themselves: but many students weren’t interested.
What seemed like a big problem at this NACA must have been conflict of preference. Many students expected to see big names, and at least someone famous. Not these “rising stars”.
Evidence: Students flocked to Dennis Haskins (Mr. Belding from “Saved by the Bell”), to groups that appeared on VH1 or MTV, and artists that had cheap prices and cool promotions.

While it stinks that these smaller acts and artists that tried so hard went unnoticed, those are the cards that were dealt. Maybe in other regions, they’ll be more lucky in getting booked, just not here.

So the weekend ends here, but for me, I still have work to do. While I was gone, my fraternity took a beating in communication amongst the new members, making some late to their mandatory meetings. Paperwork still needs to be processed, and homework needs to be completed.

But those are my weekends, aren’t they?

My journey is nothing short of exciting. I meet new people and personalities almost every day. I come to school, go through classes, and come home.

But trouble brews whenever I need something financial. Today, my duty to my Fraternity as President requires a financial obligation. An obligation that I cannot meet until October, but which requires immediate attention.

It is my fault that I am here anyways. Being in a fraternity, especially one that requires attention and care to rebuild, is tough. Being the President is even worse of a way to section off my time.
People tell me that it looks good on my resume and to think of the experience it is helping me understand, but I’ve had enough of that excuse.

A student leader is a great duty, one that requires someone to be prepared for anything. If it weren’t for the financial obligation, I’d be pretty much set for success and not set for incapacitation.

I’ve done my Strengths 2.0, and one of my traits fell under Arranger. Being able to juggle more than one project is a rush, and something that feels right. I can put several options in a specific order, and it makes sense to only me.
Whether this pronounces the feeling that “the ends justify the means” or not, I just can’t think about.

I’ll keep shifting around my obligations and duties until something makes sense.

It’s over!

Pan Hellenic Recruitment is done! …

…. Right?

Sunday marks the last day of my designated “shadowing”, an attempt to see what goes on behind the scenes with Pan Hellenic Recruitment. The surge of emotions and logistics created a fulfilling experience, and most of the time I wished I had a more active role. I want to be that person who has the right answers. I want to be able to make sure student leaders are confident in their decisions and development. Seeing my peers bond and grow closer through this ordeal of managing a recruiting event for over 200 students was absolutely amazing.

Sunday held many moments of down time, where reflection and discussion were definitely a big part of the very much social atmosphere among the Staff and Student Leaders. While the content of the discussions were in question “not for me”, I definitely saw it as ways for the Student Leaders to disengage from the stress and pressures of this experience.

I do understand that it is very difficult to disaffiliate from an organization that you have bonded and developed with, only to be part of the group that ensures that everyone (including your organization) gets time to develop in their own ways in order to bring in new members. It’s painful, and I understand that.

On the other hand, building relationships should be what this experience is about, because these are the initial ways that lifelong partnerships and networks are created, right? And in a sense, this is what was fully realized by the end of the night as I sat with the Staff while they ate dinner. Being able to bond and have something to talk about creates a stronger union between people, and if it benefits them as leaders who must work together, helps the oragnization in the long run.

I feel I have learned quite a bit from these women, just by being in their vicinity. I know that if I were to be put in their place with the initial experience I had, I wouldn’t have lasted.

… Or would I have?

… No, I’ll have to answer when it happens.

As part of  my NASPA “road to higher education” blog, I am to record my experiences shadowing different people in different departments of Student Affairs. This portion is with the Assistant Director of Fraternity and Sorority Life.

As an undergraduate, I’ve only heard of Pan Hellenic Recruitment as a process that was more stricter than the Interfraternity Council’s Recruitment process. As a Freshman, I would be sitting in the Johnson Center and seeing large amounts of girls walk up and down the stairs in either similar clothing patterns or something business casual/formal.
I was very unfamiliar with this Recruitment process even as I grew in my Fraternity. Not having much contact with other Sororities aside from shared activities and All-Greek school events, I was pretty much clueless as to how a young woman joined a sorority at Mason. At one point, it was just a matter of seeing girls lining up outside of Dewberry Hall and entering a room of loud clapping and chanting. Very intimidating if I were in their position.

So as I’ve mentioned before, I am shadowing at this event for Pan Hellenic Recuitment in order to get a sense of the decisions and counseling that must be done in this process.

Thursday – Orientation

The Orientation was a great time. Seeing these Greek women come together to start off the Recruiting experience was very satisfying. When all the non-affiliated women began walking into Dewberry Hall, it was very interesting to see who knew which table to walk to first, and who knew to check in or register and then head to their seat.
The process was very much a way for the women to be thrown into the mix of Pan Hellenic Recruitment, as it was very overwhelming to just sit in the back as opposed to sitting with numerous girls who were probably as nervous as I was.
Once the rules and other policies were stated, seeing the girls form into their groups was interesting, as it felt like Freshman Orientation all over again.

Friday

Today is the day that I’ve been told about. I arrive at “Headquarters”, where there are members of the Executive Board are putting together everything and going through the logistics of the weekend’s events.

From what I notice is that the Potential New Members (PNMs) come into the Headquarters area with confused looks, not knowing where to go. But having all the Rho Gammas (Sorority women who disaffiliate with their chapter to in order to provide an unbiased learning experience for PNMs) enter Headquarters to work on their Group Signs and find out their schedules on where to go. The entire time here in Headquarters is in a frenzy, as several situations happen:

• PNMs enter Headquarters to withdraw.
• Headquarters and Rho Gammas are calling PNMs to find out where they are.
• Rho Gammas are counseling those who have withdrawn, or are wishing to withdraw.

Throughout the day, people say things like “I’m a little overwhelmed”, or people are just aggravated.
There is a point in the day when there is a slight, but avoided, confrontation between a few Rho Gammas and the Executive Board. An aggravated Rho Gamma says that she feels like she’s being talked down to, though on the other hand, as she is sitting in the back the Executive Board member is flooded with forms to manually input and had to ask the Rho Gamma to sit down.

Today would even get worse, as stress and mis-communication is rising. In the little downtime there is, talking and snacking helps people rest. One incident, where everyone had to run out of the room, a confrontation between an Alumni Advisor and Executive Member created a very tense atmosphere. Those in Headquarters are given limited information, and as such, when you’re left alone with a very fierce and unrelenting Alumni Advisor, you’d be very intimidated. At this point, having Faculty to mediate would have been very beneficial towards the member in Headquarters. For me, I would have talked to the Alumni Advisor and explained the situation, though it was not my place to talk and affect the relationship between the department and these different organizations. It was a conflict within myself, because I was allowed to participate as an Observer, and not as Staff. This conflict had remained throughout the entire day, because sitting back and observing is not what I like to do. Yet the day moved on.

Conclusion: Pan Hellenic Recruitment is an intense experience, as I am learning about how difficult it is for someone such as Faculty who must be expected to know all information and be 10 steps ahead of everyone else.

Saturday

Today is not as bad as Friday, but there is still lots of rushing around. PNMs are still withdrawing, citing exhaustion and anxiety as reasons for their withdrawal.

There is more downtime this day, made apparent by reports from people saying that specific groups of Rho Gammas are sitting around doing nothing. My assumption was that this wasn’t a behavior that anyone on Staff wanted others to develop, so as I took my trip to see this group, I noticed that they were given games and things to pass the time with.

Boredom is an issue that needs to be definitely dealt with, because there is more downtime today, and less complications as there were the previous day.

Situation: A PNM is found to be affiliated with another chapter at another university. This information was found out via an internet search. As the Staff is given this information, they have to investigate more into the matter, but also must deal with the issue of whether this is grounds for dispelling the PNM from Recruitment. Given that this information was done at Recruitment, and that there isn’t enough information to determine if the PNM was actually initiated, the delay in determining whether this PNM could go through with Recruitment was hard.

Selection [Innovation Hall]: Decisions to rank their Top 2 Chapters was hard, because there were PNMs that sat at their stations struggling to rank their groups. Watching Lauren Long and others talk to PNMs to help them choose their 2 out of 4 preferences was hard, based on the fact that these were decisions that would determine either the rest of their life, or make their time at Mason very hard.

More people are reading my blog, and it’s kind of cool that someone is watching my progress and notes.

Lucky for me, my NOTES are a whole different thing than the BLOG. Ha!