The second semester of pursuing my Master’s degree started a few weeks back, and I am just looking forward to understanding more about others. I’ve done quite a bit to get to this point, and had an uneasy time getting through my first semester while not completely losing my mind. Personally, I don’t feel confident with the cards I’ve been given to really have any momentum with my work.
Each time I meet someone new, or listen to stories about how people dealt with certain situations, I reflect on what my past actions were in similar situations. I focus on what I’ve done wrong, and how to avoid it, because if I focused on the actions that were right, I only get too comfortable letting the wrong in. Either way, I am completely second guessing myself and it’s a very unhealthy habit.
I think it’s because I lack the confidence to do anything right and only stay on the safe side, but I second guess myself again on that. I am doing research on a subgroup of a student population that hits home for me. The last time I focused on a subject that was close to home (first semester), I almost botched my chances at passing a class. But here I am, fully knowing what I’ve gotten myself into: a situation where I might not get the conclusion I want.
Though, I won’t be worried about it. As always, I seem to feel better after taking time to reflect. Everything becomes a past action, but each situation that follows allows for a more informed decision.
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